Wednesday, February 7, 2007

a few more things...

We forgot to bring cameras to the Brooklyn Bridge. I think that is how it was supposed to be. I’m not sure that the day was to be shared, but I’ll tell you it was as clear as an afternoon can be and every monument of the city sparkled before us. Apparently it was a whole bunch of degrees below freezing but we walked so much that I had no idea. We took the train back to Manhattan and walked across the Williamsburg bridge, then clear back to the G train and caught it up to Greenpoint.

I had gone to sleep too late, awoke too early, drank too much coffee at brunch, and sunk too much emotion into the conversation not to crash when I got home. I laid down and thought about the people I had to say goodbye to, the suitcase I had to stuff full. Someone cancelled, Someone came over, and it was all heavy words, heavy sighs, heavy looks, heavy embraces – all crumbling into a disassociated laughter. The weight of the day grew more and more burdensome but it felt beautiful – sometimes the heavier things are, the more they feel that way.

I drank a beer, a glass of wine. I washed some dishes. I put on some music. I sat on the floor. I laid on the floor. I felt like I should really feel something about something, but I didnt feel much of anything about anything. I decided I wanted breakfast.

After midnight I realized the cold. Stepping out onto the sidewalk, the wind rushed through the street. I was all bundled up and struggled against it. Nothing really makes you feel childish and vulnerable like icy weather and layers upon layers of warm clothes. There was no one out there. I returned a book I had borrowed from a friend of a friend, I bought an onion, a roll, and a cup of coffee.

I swear that I knew that girl walking from the cab to the bar. I had a lot to say to her if she was indeed she, but I didn’t follow. I walked along a diagonal street that nearly connected the bodega and the apartment. I thought a bit about The Pythagorean Theorem.

I got home and put the music back on, checked into my flight online. I made breakfast and went to sleep.